§ Show me the hand strategy

So, how do you surface covert-aggressions and covert-criticism? Enter the: Show Me The Hand Strategy The "show me the hand strategy" can be applied with several techniques, including: Pretend you don't understand: if you don't understand and they did want to make their point across, they will be forced to be more direct in their aggression / offense Ask them what exactly do they mean: you can use the broken record technique here, where you keep repeating "what do you mean by that", "OK, but it does sound like you were trying to criticize my work. It's OK if you do", "then, if you didn't want to criticize, what did you mean" Go meta: explain them what they were doing, and tell them that you prefer direct talk because "you can take it" (invite criticism into the open), because you "expect better from them" (big judge power move), or because "it's so much better for both" (leader-like win-win approach) Reframe their aggression as support: nice power move and you will possibly get under their skin when they wanted to get under yours. They wanted to hurt you, or to harm your status, so when you reframe their attack as support, they will feel compelled to come out in the open and be more direct